Never settle for less. 

One of the popular phrases that I always hear whenever one is talking about relationships. May it be platonic or a romantic one. Then came this question, how would you know that you are actually settling for less if you are not aware of what you really want? As someone who never gave that much thought about most relationships I had and have in my life, I realized that I didn't really get to sit down and take some time to think about what I really wanted. 

Then came an opportunity when I had more time on my hands to really reflect. Reflect not only about my future plans for my life and career, but also about what I believe are the boundaries or preferences one should set for their relationships, specifically in the aspect of romance.

1. Equal Partnership. As an only child, I am used to being independent so it's better for me to be with someone who is not controlling and respects this side of me. I heard there are men especially those with really strong dominating personalities who prefers to be followed by their partners in most situations. In my opinion, learning to compromise and equality is really important for a long lasting relationship.

2. Stability and Clarity. For this aspect, I believe clear communication is a must in a budding relationship. Your aspiring significant other should express clearly their intentions from the very start of the connection and their possible plans. For women like me, stability is really important for this is what we can hold on to as we think about the possible future of the relationship and the impact it will have in our lives.

3. Being Genuine. I think that a very important skill that a person should develop is to learn how to assess if a person is genuine. This is applicable not only in assessing your possible future life partner but also in most relationships in general such as friendship. Life is short and each second is essential so we should only dedicate our time to people who are genuinely loyal and loving to us.

4.  Loyalty and Consistency. A partner who is loyal is very important and should be a non-negotiable. Disloyalty oftentimes causes anxiety to the aggrieved party which eventually leads to the loss of trust within a relationship. As for consistency,  I always get this advice from most of my friends. Before allowing yourself to invest in growing your feelings for a specific person, he must be consistent. Consistent in giving his time, effort and energy in proving himself worthy of your love and affection. 

5. Respect and Acceptance. In my belief, acceptance goes hand in hand when genuinely loving someone. It's important that your romantic partner accepts not only your admirable qualities but also your flaws. In accepting comes respect. But as you go through the journey of your relationship, you may inspire one another to develop and turn these flaws into strengths. For me, the gauge of an ideal relationship is when you are with someone who inspires you to become a better person. 

All of us are different and so these things that I shared are considered to be subjective. I consider this entry also as a reminder for myself. A reminder of my value as a person and as a woman. But I hope that this blog entry inspires my fellow women to stop and give time to assess what's important for them.

I know that there's no perfect relationship as there is no perfect person. All that most of us desire is to be with someone who really values, cares and loves us. As we go through our life's journey in searching for that person, I hope every women like me out there will be reminded that it's okay to set boundaries and non-negotiables. We always have a choice and hopefully each of these choices leads us to happiness.   

Always remember that you are a gem.