Life is not all about ups and happiness. 

There will be times that you will be tested and encounter situations that may shake your view of your own value as a person. Even the most strongest person who feels like they already view themselves as worthy may surprisingly come to a point of feeling unworthy because of rejections and being used by other people. Strong emotions specifically pain may bring us to a period of loneliness and self-doubt. Pain may temporarily cloud our view of our surroundings making it hard for us to see all the people who chooses us everyday, without any conditions and hesitations.

Always remember that you are valuable and lovable. 

Other people may not treat you as valuable but that isn't the case. As they said, rejection is God's redirection. Look at it as the other way around. Maybe what God is saying is that these people are the ones who are not worthy to be in your life. He's just removing people who are not meant for you to make a bigger space for people who are actually worthy of your time and love. Every person is worthy and valuable in the eyes of God but as humans, we are given the freedom of choice. There are also situations where people chooses to go the wrong path of using other people for their own gain. May it be because of boredom or selfishness but remember, their actions and choices doesn't define your value. It's a reflection of what kind of person they chose to become when dealing with people that crosses their paths. Maybe these people were brought to your life temporarily to teach you lessons instead. Lessons that will make you stronger and choose to be a better person. 

Be proud of having a kind heart.

Dark times are temporary so try your best not to dwell on them. Just view them as His way of testing you and preparing you for bigger and better things to come. Remember that God doesn't give us challenges that we can't surpass. View this also as an opportunity for growth and a wake up call. Take a look around and see all these people surrounding you, who loves you genuinely with all your strengths and imperfections. Focus on people who clearly sees your value so that you can rediscover self-worth.

Remember that the way you let other people treat you is a reflection of how you see yourself.

Don't let other people define your value. Instead, exercise your right to choose people. Choose people who are also worthy of you. You are a beautiful person inside and out and don't let other people make you change that. 

I am learning to let go. 

Letting go of all the possibilities,

Letting go of wanting to seek the traces of all things you’ve concealed and,

Letting go of that desire to seek the answers to all the Whys.

Instead, I’ll start embracing.

Embracing all the lessons I’ve learned,

Embracing the fact that there’s a reason that’s left to be revealed by God,

Embracing all the love that’s currently surrounding me and,

Embracing the wonderful journey that awaits me 🛣️

Never settle for less. 

One of the popular phrases that I always hear whenever one is talking about relationships. May it be platonic or a romantic one. Then came this question, how would you know that you are actually settling for less if you are not aware of what you really want? As someone who never gave that much thought about most relationships I had and have in my life, I realized that I didn't really get to sit down and take some time to think about what I really wanted. 

Then came an opportunity when I had more time on my hands to really reflect. Reflect not only about my future plans for my life and career, but also about what I believe are the boundaries or preferences one should set for their relationships, specifically in the aspect of romance.

1. Equal Partnership. As an only child, I am used to being independent so it's better for me to be with someone who is not controlling and respects this side of me. I heard there are men especially those with really strong dominating personalities who prefers to be followed by their partners in most situations. In my opinion, learning to compromise and equality is really important for a long lasting relationship.

2. Stability and Clarity. For this aspect, I believe clear communication is a must in a budding relationship. Your aspiring significant other should express clearly their intentions from the very start of the connection and their possible plans. For women like me, stability is really important for this is what we can hold on to as we think about the possible future of the relationship and the impact it will have in our lives.

3. Being Genuine. I think that a very important skill that a person should develop is to learn how to assess if a person is genuine. This is applicable not only in assessing your possible future life partner but also in most relationships in general such as friendship. Life is short and each second is essential so we should only dedicate our time to people who are genuinely loyal and loving to us.

4.  Loyalty and Consistency. A partner who is loyal is very important and should be a non-negotiable. Disloyalty oftentimes causes anxiety to the aggrieved party which eventually leads to the loss of trust within a relationship. As for consistency,  I always get this advice from most of my friends. Before allowing yourself to invest in growing your feelings for a specific person, he must be consistent. Consistent in giving his time, effort and energy in proving himself worthy of your love and affection. 

5. Respect and Acceptance. In my belief, acceptance goes hand in hand when genuinely loving someone. It's important that your romantic partner accepts not only your admirable qualities but also your flaws. In accepting comes respect. But as you go through the journey of your relationship, you may inspire one another to develop and turn these flaws into strengths. For me, the gauge of an ideal relationship is when you are with someone who inspires you to become a better person. 

All of us are different and so these things that I shared are considered to be subjective. I consider this entry also as a reminder for myself. A reminder of my value as a person and as a woman. But I hope that this blog entry inspires my fellow women to stop and give time to assess what's important for them.

I know that there's no perfect relationship as there is no perfect person. All that most of us desire is to be with someone who really values, cares and loves us. As we go through our life's journey in searching for that person, I hope every women like me out there will be reminded that it's okay to set boundaries and non-negotiables. We always have a choice and hopefully each of these choices leads us to happiness.   

Always remember that you are a gem.

Solo travel has always been a part of my bucket list ever since I discovered the joys of traveling. I've been to lots of different Philippine domestic destinations but I've never had the opportunity to really try it. Most of the time, I always travel with a least one friend or two. 

This year of 2023, I am aiming to try different kinds of things and experiences that I've never had the courage to do before. As they say, going out of your comfort zone always brings unexpected learnings and growth. And so for this year's birthday celebration, I decided to try to solo travel. Solo travel to a destination where I've never been to or really stayed in before. I wanted to go somewhere where I can have the time to reflect, enjoy the beauty of the sunset, be carefree and probably meet new people too. My mind then led me to this famous tourist spot in the province of La Union or also popularly called Elyu, which is the town of San Juan.

As this is some kind of a challenge for me, the experience did bring about some realizations and learnings specifically about myself and how I adapt in certain situations. Let me share with you the following discoveries below.

1. As a solo female traveling, it's important to ensure your safety at all times. 

Always assess, observe and feel your surroundings. Let me share my back story. Unexpectedly during this travel, I arrived early at San Juan at around 2:30 am where there's literally nowhere where I can stay safely to kill time as I wait for the sun to come up. Looking and feeling around, I know it's not a good idea to risk staying where I was at that time so I used my phone and searched for the nearest 24 hours open fast food store where I can head to.

3. Don't share with everyone that you're traveling alone. 

This one is actually related as well with trusting your intuition. There are certain people that you will meet paths during your travel whom it's safe to share this piece of information and there are some who are not. Again, learn to assess but this time directing it to the people around you and the current circumstance when you met them. Going back to my personal experience, I bravely rode a tricycle to reach the fast food store. The driver seemed okay in my assessment but then when he asked again if I was alone, I lied and said that I'm meeting my friend at that particular fast food branch where I was headed. Only when I reached and entered the store then I let my guard down.

4. You'll learn to depend entirely on yourself. 

As someone who still lives at the same house as my parents since it is more economical that way, I definitely enjoyed this solo travel experience. That short time of entire independence and freedom felt like a long yearned treat for me. As you depend on yourself, you'll discover a certain extent of your skills, capabilities as well as your limits. Thus, making you know more yourself in a new kind of way.

5. Staying at hostels is a good idea to save money. 

But there are some disadvantages on this like the need to be mindful of your valuables at all times and making sure that you don't disturb your fellow travelers. If you're okay with sharing space with strangers, then it's okay for you to stay at a hostel. Always be kind to your fellow travelers or room mates.

6. You'll definitely enjoy traveling at your own pace. 

You have the liberty to decide entirely your itinerary or how to go about your entire day. You can follow your own whim without the need to consider the enjoyment and likes of other people with you. Definitely one of the perks of being alone. For this trip, I didn't really stick to my planned itinerary and more of let my mood and heart guide me, day by day. Most of my plans changed as unexpected things happened and that was okay.

7. You'll become more comfortable interacting with strangers and meeting new people. 

You are actually more receptive and focused with others as you are alone. You'll be more open to meeting new people, hearing their life stories and sharing a bit of yours as well. Unexpected talks and interactions with new people is one of the things that I love the most with traveling. During this Elyu trip, I actually met Ate Luz and Jessa and it was really fun getting that unexpected opportunity of meeting and knowing them. 

8. The bliss of solitude is real. 

As humans, we have this need for social interaction. But taking the time being alone and enjoying your own company is a need as well. I first heard the term "Me time" from one of my work colleagues at my first job and I immediately wondered what that means and later on, the understanding kicked in. In our daily busy lives especially at our work places, the need to adjust and socialize with the people around us can be overwhelming at times. I'm actually used to dealing and talking to lots of people everyday as an HR and also considering the fact that I'm always at the company of my friends everywhere I go. But surprisingly, I really enjoyed traveling solo and appreciated myself as my own company. It gave me more time to chill and reflect on my life's plans which I really need at this time. 

Traveling solo is a real treat and a wonderful experience one must do at least once in their life. The thought of it might be scary for most people and that belief of equating solitude with loneliness is understandable. But living is growing and traveling solo is one great way or step towards it. I highly encourage everyone to take this challenge and step out of their comfort zones.